DART TALK

BED 'N' BREAKFAST  A term applied to a score of 26 obtained by hitting a 5, a 20 and a 1. Does not imply what you get when you pass out under the table and sleep in the bar all night.

BULL  The bull's-eye in the center of the dartboard which is also referred to as the cork or the middle. It is not a rude comment made with regards to your opponent's last shot.

CHALKER  A person of elementary mathematical skills who has been coerced into keeping score. May often be bribed with promises of barrels of free beer.

CHUCKER  A person who is unable to grasp the finer points of the game. A mediocre, incompetent, non-committed player. This person may often be found as your partner in a blind-draw tournament. Also commonly found in golf, which you may wish to take up if darts doesn't go well for you.

DART LEAGUE  Darting practice time; also known as "a night out without the old ball and chain." Applies equally to both sexes.

DIDDLE  Or diddle for the middle. Always asked as a question as in "shall we see who goes first?" One at a time, each player throws a dart with the express purpose of hitting the bull's-eye. The player actually managing to do so, or more likely, the player coming closest, starts the game. Reminiscent of the terminology used in potty training small children.

MAD HOUSE  When left with a double one, you are said to be in the "mad house." Not a term recommended to describe your host's domicile.

MUGS AWAY  A gentlemanly expression referring to the practice of letting the losers begin the next game. Do not smirk or laugh contemptuously when saying this. If your opponent is bigger than you are, reassure him it is not a comment on his or her looks.

OCHE  The line at which the player stands to throw darts; pronounced "hockey" with a silent "H". Perfectly pronounced by most French Canadians, it is usually spelled correctly only by die-hard darts aficionados. (See also "Toe Line.")

RIGHT CHURCH, WRONG PEW  Often said when a player's dart lands in the wrong double and is especially painful if the player has just finished mumbling a hurried Please Let This Be In prayer.

SHOTGUN  Applies to darts that land all over the place. When thrown often by a player, he/she will usually throw his/her final dart into the bull's-eye to take the game. Happens frequently to players who think that grouping is something you do with your hands. This term is occasionally applied to certain types of marriages, too.

THE MAXIMUM  Term applied to a score of 180 - the highest possible score with three darts. Has also been used by the police officer who ticketed you for "exceeding the maximum" when rushing home after darts. Often followed by the question, "Sir, have you had anything to drink tonight?"

THREE-IN-A-BED  Phrase used to describe three darts in the same double or triple. Also used by some to describe a party.

TOE LINE  Usually a length of tape placed on the floor to indicate where a player may stand when throwing. He/she is permitted to stand on but not over the line. In ancient times a razor-sharp steel blade was imbedded in the floor to shear off offending toes. This might explain why even today some players develop excruciating toe cramps when standing over the line. (See "Oche.")

TON  A score of one hundred, or possibly the weight of the guy standing behind you waiting to throw.

TOUGH DARTS  Said to your opponent when he/she misses their intended shot. Should be said with heartfelt sympathy, but if you can't manage that, at least keep the smile off your face.

UNLUCKY SON  Said to your younger opponent when his closely placed dart drops to the floor after glancing off another dart or a wire. Often said after silently thinking, "Right On!" As with "Tough Darts", you should not show glee.

WET FEET  A foot fault; when the player has stepped over the oche. Could also be a comment on your opponent's condition after having just spilled his beverage all over himself/herself.

WRONG BED  In darts, the comment made when a dart has landed in an undesired location - perhaps the number next to the one you were shooting for. Outside of darts, if you land in the wrong bed, you're on your own.

GOOD DARTS  A compliment paid to another player, usually mumbled under your breath as you sullenly contemplate taking up another sport.
 
 
 

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